Break The Negative Thought Cycle For Good!

Have you ever noticed yourself stuck in a negative loop of thinking similar to a hamster running on a wheel? Your thoughts just keep spinning and spinning, yet, you’re going nowhere. Well, this may be due to “Thinking Traps.” Don’t worry, we all have them.

“Think Traps” can impact more than just our thoughts, but our mood and actions. When we get stuck in a negative thought our mood starts to go downhill, and this impacts our actions. What makes this even more dangerous is that if we don’t break the cycle our “Thinking Traps” can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Let me show you how it works:

Teen’s thought: No one likes me…Which Leads to..

Teen’s Mood: Feeling Depressed…Which Leads to…

Teen’s Action…Isolation…Which Leads to…Teen’s friends not reaching out as much which reinforces the belief that “no one likes me…” which leads to

Teen’s new thought: I’m unlovable…So forth and So on…

What To Do? Tips To Break The Thinking Traps Cycle:

Let me be real with you for a minute. One of the most common suggestions for this is to “challenge the distorted thinking.” This is all fine and well, BUT, when your thoughts are betraying you how are you going to believe your new more positive thought?

I find breaking the thought cycle first is the most effective way to deal with a Thinking Trap. This can be accomplished by reestablishing your mind/body connection. In Teen DBT Group this week we learn how to use mindfulness to observe and describe the physical sensations of our feelings to help break our thought cycles. This allows us to experience our feelings as mindful observers without the being on our judgmental hamster wheel.

Once you have reestablished your mind/body connection and your thoughts are no longer going round and round then you can gently challenge the thought. For example, asking yourself, “How do I know if this is accurate?” “Is this thought effective for me?” “Am I making assumptions?” or “Is there another explanation?”

The ability to begin to recognize your thinking traps and mindfully break the cycle can improve your mood. It can help shift you out of negative thinking and help you to engage in more positive behaviors!

Want help breaking the cycle? Click here to schedule your Free 15 Phone Consultation!

GROUP THERAPY: IT’S NOT JUST “SOCIAL HOUR”

Sometimes I hear from parents that they don’t think group is right for their teen because they don’t believe that a “social hour” will help their depression or anxiety. Or that “social hour” would create too much anxiety or comparison for their teen.

But Here’s The Deal:

Support has been scientifically proven to be the #1 indicator of overall wellbeing. It leads to improved symptoms of anxiety and depression, and better physical health.

3 REASONS GROUP CAN BE THE BEST FOR YOUR TEEN:

Group helps your teen experience and learn that they are not alone

Being in a group with others who have similar struggles lets your teen know they are not the only one who feels this way and that they aren’t broken, bad, wrong or different for having the feelings that they do. It allows them to feel heard and understood and this experience is the first step towards healing.

Group hold your teen accountable their goals

Group members support each other in making healthy decisions and actionable changes. I’ve had group members commit to end toxic relationships, finish school work on time, work on angry outburst, and more… and they actually follow through because they have PEERS holding them accountable weekly and cheering them on. Peers accountability is more effective adults checking in on teens!

Group helps your teen learn to love and accept themselves the way they are

The experience of showing up week after week, sharing with teens who have similar struggles allows them to start to feel emotionally safe and be their authentic self. They begin to stop hiding behind emotional walls and allow themselves to be seen, known, and accepted for who they really are. This is a priceless experience and will rocket their self-esteem!

There are other ways to find social support for your teen. Whether you decide on group as a way to help your teen find support, or you seek connection for your teen elsewhere, our mission is to help your teen understand that they are not alone.

If you think group might be right for your teen contact us here for your free consultation.

HOW DBT HELPS TO INSTANTLY CALM STRONG EMOTIONS

Though everyone feels intense negative emotions, it is very common for teenagers to feel overwhelmed or stressed on a regular basis. UCLA researchers have reported that incoming freshman rates of feeling overwhelmed have increased from 18 percent in 1985 to 29 percent in 2010 and 41 percent in 2016.  A recent study in Psychological Medicine reported an increase in depression from 2005 to 2015 from 8.7 percent to 12.7 percent for teens 12- to 17-year-olds.

When your teen is overwhelmed it may be very hard for them to access and use their everyday coping skills and reminding them may lead to them feeling more frustrated. The reason being when we are in a state of extreme emotional arousal our brains aren’t functioning properly and we can’t process or access information. It is as if your teen is so overwhelmed by emotions their brain is on pause.

In order for your teen to get past their brain being on pause they need to “reset” it. According to Dr. Marsha Linehan, founder of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) there are some simple skills you can use to kick your parasympathetic nervous system into gear (PNS) which helps to relax us. This skill is referred to by the acronym TIP.

  • Temperature: If your teen changes their temperature it can help them refocus and reset. It helps them feel more grounded. Changing their temperature will instantly slow their nervous system down and help them to relax. They can try running cold water on their forehead or forearms, or back of their necks. Maybe chewing on some ice.
  • Intense Exercise: Always check with your physician before doing any new physical activities to ensure you avoid any injuries. Short, quick and intense bursts of exercise can jolt your teen’s system and help to ground your teen. Quick increases in heart rate help mind/body connect and your teen is better able to calm down. Try jumping jacks, burpees, a quick jog, etc.
  • Paced Breathing: Deep breathing is always a wonderful coping skill. Paced breathing is the opposite of the slow deep breaths you may be used to. In yoga we refer to it as “breath of fire” or “cleaning breath.” You take short breaths in and strong forceful breaths out at a quick pace. Use this for about 15-30 seconds and no longer as it may leave you feeling lightheaded.
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: The concept is to focus on one muscle group at a time tensing and releasing each group and notice the difference. You can repeat each muscle group four to six times. As you scan your body, tensing and releasing each muscle group the muscles loosen and relax. This skill can be very relaxing and help connect mind and body. If your teen is struggling to fall asleep this can be a great tool to use before bedtime to help them relax and fall asleep.

These skills will not necessarily stop your teen from feeling distress or discomfort. They can however learn to get through the crisis and whatever made them feel overwhelmed to begin with. Once the intensity has passed they will better be able to access their other DBT skills and begin to problem-solve the situation.

If your teen needs support with managing intense emotions DBT group help. Contact me here to learn more.